December 6, 2009 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.
Esther Perel
Lenfell Hall, Fairleigh Dickinson University
Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
Why doesn't good intimacy guarantee good sex? Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever? Can we want what we already have? Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster?
Early Registration: $150.00, At the Door: $165.00CPPNJ candidates: $75.00, Pre-registration: $65.00
Students with IDs: $35.00
Esther Perel takes on these tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring eros home. Using case examples and video vignettes, and drawing on Stephen Mitchell's ideas in his book Can Love Last?, Perel will demonstrate how couples can draw pleasure from the hidden, the suggestive, and the uncanny while also respecting their needs for safety and stability. She will be addressing the 4 central themes that impact our erotic life: paradoxes of desire & how social forces inhibit erotic expression; attachment history and the erotic blueprint; the transition to parenthood; and the role of fantasy/imagination.
Ms. Perel, whose training is rooted in family therapy as well as psychodynamic work, brings the need for space, differentiation, fantasy and even aggression into the domestic life of couples. Perel draws from psychoanalysis, family theory, trauma theory, philosophy, anthropology, and literature to broaden and enliven our understanding of couples and our practice of couples therapy. Ms. Perel's book, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic (2006, Harper Collins) is being translated into 25 languages and has been widely reviewed and praised. She has made a number of national television appearances including "NBC'S The Today Show," "The Oprah Winfrey Show," and "CBS This Morning." She lives in New York City with her family.